AI Says...
In everyday life, we tend to confuse two fundamental notions: intention and attention. Both are important, but they do not play the same role in our actions, decisions, and—above all—our human relationships. Understanding this distinction can deeply transform the way we interact with others, collaborate, love, and build.
Intention: The Initial Impulse
Intention is what we want to do, what we aspire to accomplish. It is connected to our will, our convictions, our goals. Having good intentions means wanting to do the right thing, being driven by positive values.
Examples of intention:
Wanting to be a good partner in a relationship.
Aspiring to succeed in a professional project.
Wanting to repair a damaged relationship.
However, intention alone is not enough. It's not enough to want to listen to someone—you must actually do it, in the present moment. This is where attention comes in.
Attention: Active Presence
Attention is the quality of presence, the ability to perceive the other person, to feel the moment, and to adapt one’s actions according to what is truly happening. It involves listening, observing, and focusing. Unlike intention, which can remain abstract, attention is a living action.
In human endeavors, attention enables precision, quality, and effectiveness. A surgeon may have the intention to operate well, but it’s their extreme attention to movement, detail, and the patient’s condition that ensures success. The same applies to musicians, artisans, and teachers.
But it is in human relationships that attention becomes a powerful lever.
Why Intention Is Not Enough in Relationships
Romantic, friendly, or professional relationships are living dynamics—often fragile. Too often, we think our good intentions should suffice:"I meant well.""I didn’t mean to hurt you.""That wasn’t my intention."And yet, the other person may feel hurt, ignored, misunderstood, or neglected.
Here are a few examples:
In a couple, one may have the intention of being a good partner, but if one is not attentive to the other’s emotional needs, mood shifts, or expectations, the relationship will deteriorate.
In a friendship, the intention to stay close is not enough if one never truly listens, constantly interrupts, or forgets important details of the other person’s life.
In a professional or associative partnership, good collective intentions do not replace real attention to signs of fatigue, imbalance in workload, or individual needs.
This is where the famous saying applies:
"The road to hell is paved with good intentions."
It means that even noble intentions can lead to disastrous outcomes if they are not accompanied by concrete attention, sincere listening, and a real-time responsiveness to circumstances.
Attention as a Driver of Relational Growth
Only attention to the other allows a relationship to evolve. It is what enables us to:
Recognize unspoken needs
Identify underlying wounds
Respond to shifts in tone, energy, or dynamic
Adjust ourselves instead of imposing our will or principles
Intention wants to do good. Attention does good.
It transforms passive will into sensitive action. It is attention that prevents misunderstandings, recurring conflicts, and unspoken disappointments. Where intention may serve as an excuse ("I didn’t mean to"), attention creates a gentler, more fluid, more aligned reality.
How to Develop Attention
Unlike intention, which is mostly driven by willpower, attention is cultivated through concrete and regular personal development practices such as:
Meditation or mindfulness, which teaches us to return to the present moment
Active listening, by rephrasing what the other says and asking open-ended questions
Non-judgmental observation, to perceive what is, without immediately wanting to change it
Empathy training, by truly putting oneself in the other’s shoes
Developing attention also means learning to slow down, to step out of the mind, to feel. It’s less about doing and more about being with.
And What About Intention?
Intention still matters: it gives direction and meaning to our actions. But for that intention to come to life in a just and vibrant way, it must be supported by quality attention. One might say:
Intention is the seed. Attention is the water.Without the one, no vision.Without the other, no growth.
Conclusion
In a world that values rapid action and declarations of intent, we often forget that only attention transforms a relationship, a situation, a reality. Developing our attention is developing our humanity. And what if, instead of simply trying to do good, we learned to truly be there—for others, and for ourselves?
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