In the previous articles, we explored the idea that when two people meet, it is not simply two individuals who meet. It is also two histories, two sensitivities, two defense systems and, sometimes, two neuroses. Each person enters a relationship carrying their experiences, wounds, habits, and protective mechanisms. The question then becomes: how can we avoid becoming prisoners of our own way of functioning? This is where plasticity comes in. Plasticity Is the Ability to Move

In a relationship, we often talk about compatibility, open-mindedness, adaptability, or the ability to compromise. But behind these words lie two different qualities that are nevertheless intimately connected: adaptability and flexibility. They may seem synonymous. Yet when we look at what happens within a relationship — particularly when two neurotic patterns meet — the distinction becomes interesting. A person can be adaptable without being particularly flexible. They can a

There are expressions that seem harmless but, when examined closely, reveal far more than a mere way of speaking. They sometimes describe an era, a collective psychology, or even a quiet transformation of values. In Algeria, “tiri bark” — roughly, “just shoot,” “go for it and see what happens” — belongs to this category. The expression evokes a way of acting without too much preparation, without too much thought, and without too much concern for consequences or conventions. I

When two people meet, we like to believe that two free, available individuals, fully present to one another, are discovering each other. But from a more psychological — or perhaps spiritual — perspective, one could say that, ultimately, one neurosis meets another. In Buddhist language, this idea could be brought closer to that of one ego meeting another ego: each person enters the relationship carrying their own history, conditioning, fears, expectations, attachments, and par

These Phrases That Reveal Your Subconscious (and Why You Should Be Careful) Within each of us, there is a constant inner voice. It comments, judges, anticipates, criticizes, compares. This is often referred to as the ego—not in the sense of healthy self-esteem, but as a mental construct shaped by fears, past experiences, and subconscious conditioning. This voice does not stay silent. It expresses itself through recurring phrases, almost universal in nature. The problem? They

Some Situations Make Us Uncomfortable—But Not for the Same Reasons Some situations make us feel immediately uncomfortable. Others make us downright angry. Yet not all of these reactions come from the same place. Some things disturb us because they are objectively shocking. Others disturb us because they touch a part of ourselves that we would rather not face. This is where a powerful yet often overlooked psychological mechanism comes into play: cognitive dissonance. Understan

Why Those Who Have Received the Most Sometimes Hurt the Most There is a human experience as common as it is bewildering: discovering that someone to whom we have given so much one day becomes the very person who treats us with the greatest harshness. We have offered them our time, our attentive listening, our advice, unwavering support through difficult times. We have shared our material resources, our energy, our affection, sometimes even a form of tenderness or friendship t

Steve Wozniak titled his memoir Escaping Gravity. The phrase evokes the immense force required to break free from Earth's pull. It is an apt metaphor not only for innovation or entrepreneurship, but also for something even more ambitious: building a lifelong love. The beginning of a relationship is often mistaken for love itself. It isn't. The beginning is ignition. It is the spectacular launch: fire, thunder, acceleration, applause. Falling in love often feels exactly like t

Why those who choose to do the right thing sometimes end up paying the price. We grow up believing that integrity is always rewarded. Telling the truth, acting honestly, standing up for fairness, or refusing to take the easy path should naturally earn respect, trust, and recognition. Yet human relationships reveal a far more paradoxical reality. In some conflicts, integrity does more than resolve the crisis—it also determines who will pay the price. In other words, the very p

Among younger generations, you'll often hear someone say, "He's a cheater." It isn't meant as an insult. It means that person has found the "cheat code" to life—a shortcut to financial freedom, success, and independence. The expression is rooted in video games, where a cheat code lets you skip the hard parts and reach the rewards instantly. The problem is that many people today have misunderstood what the real cheat code actually is. For many, the supposed shortcut is becomin

One of the most persistent misconceptions in discussions about sexual violence is this: "If a woman agrees to go up to a man's hotel room, she is consenting to have sex." This assumption is not only false; it reflects a fundamental misunderstanding of what consent actually means. Consent can never be inferred from a location, a circumstance, the way someone is dressed, an invitation, or another person's reputation. It is never presumed. It must be given freely, clearly, and v

“The greatest danger is not that people are deprived of information, but that they no longer know which information to trust.” For centuries, the manufacture of obedience was almost exclusively the domain of the state. Kings had their messengers, churches their preachers, empires their proclamations, political parties their newspapers, and dictatorships their propaganda. Whoever controlled the means of communication largely controlled the collective narrative. The arrival of

Spinoza, or the Art of Remaining Free “The end of the State is not to transform rational human beings into beasts or automatons, but to enable their minds and bodies to perform their functions in safety, and to allow them to exercise free reason. The true end of the State is therefore freedom.”— Baruch Spinoza At the conclusion of this inquiry, one truth becomes unmistakably clear. From the earliest cities of antiquity to the digital democracies of the twenty-first century, e

When the Party Replaces God “All ideologies are simplifications of reality. That is both their strength and their danger.”— Inspired by the thought of Hannah Arendt The revolutions of the eighteenth and nineteenth centuries seemed to herald a definitive break with the past. Monarchies claiming divine right were in retreat, societies were becoming increasingly secular, science was advancing, and religious authority was gradually losing its monopoly over human conscience. Many

When History Commands “Who controls the past controls the future. Who controls the present controls the past.”— George Orwell When religion gradually loses its role as the organizer of society, political power does not abandon its search for a source of authority greater than itself. Over the past two centuries, states have discovered another force almost as powerful as the sacred: memory. A people's great wounds, victories, humiliations, and martyrs gradually become the foun

When God Commands “Render unto Caesar the things that are Caesar’s, and unto God the things that are God’s.”— Jesus of Nazareth There is a paradox that runs throughout human history. The greatest empires were never governed by force alone. No army, however powerful, can watch millions of people day and night. No police force can overhear every conversation, control every thought, or prevent every act of rebellion. Rule based solely on coercion is not only costly—it is profoun

When Believers Choose Their Commandments Judaism, Christianity, and Islam all share a remarkable ambition: to provide human beings with a moral framework intended to govern every aspect of life. The foundational texts of these religions address not only the relationship with God, but also relationships between people, money, sexuality, family, animals, strangers, and power. Yet when one observes the actual behavior of believers, an obvious fact emerges: very few apply all pre

We believe we see people. In reality, we interpret them. It takes only a few seconds. A face, a way of walking, a style of dress, a glance. Instantly, our brain constructs a story. This person seems friendly. That one appears arrogant. This one looks intelligent. Another seems dangerous. We feel as though we are directly perceiving reality. Yet what we often call “intuition” or a “gut feeling” is usually a rapid mental construction based on partial clues, past experiences, an

An ordinary morning.In front of a daycare, the door opens and a small group of children walks out, guided by attentive adults. They move in a loose line, some holding hands, others distracted by the sky, a stone, a leaf. There are sudden bursts of laughter, wandering gazes, spontaneous gestures. What strikes you immediately is not only their fragility or their beauty — it is their absolute neutrality toward the world. They know nothing. They know nothing of racism, nothing of

A Missed Turning Point in Intelligence in the Global South The intelligence doctrine in many countries of the Global South is rooted in the Chekist legacy—that is, a conception of intelligence born with the Cheka, the political police created in 1917 by the Bolshevik regime under the authority of Felix Dzerzhinsky. Emerging from the logic of combating counter-revolution, it turned intelligence into an instrument for defending the regime, based on surveillance, coercion, and p