Happiness and Love: Human Illusions or Negative Realities?

Humanity has always sought to define happiness, to pursue it, and to claim it as a fundamental right. However, deeper reflection leads to a troubling conclusion: happiness, often envisioned as a state of lasting fulfillment and satisfaction, is an illusory goal. Wouldn't the most realistic definition of happiness be rather the absence of misfortune in a person's life?

A Negative Vision of Happiness

If we consider human experience, absolute happiness is elusive. Life is full of unpredictability, challenges, losses, and suffering. Thus, rather than seeing happiness as an accumulation of pleasures and successes, it seems more relevant to conceive it as a life where trials and pains are minimized. This negative perspective of happiness – that is, its absence rather than its presence – allows for a more pragmatic view. After all, an individual who does not suffer, who experiences neither major drama nor insurmountable failure, can already consider themselves privileged.

This approach aligns with the thoughts of certain philosophers, such as Arthur Schopenhauer, who believed that suffering is the norm and that happiness is merely a temporary respite. Rather than chasing an unattainable ideal, it is better to minimize pain and discomfort, which proves to be a far more accessible and rational objective.

A Parallel with Love

This negative conception of happiness finds a striking echo in the notion of love. Romantic love, as idealized in cultural narratives and individual aspirations, is also a chimerical quest. The idea of perfect, unwavering, and eternal love clashes with the reality of human complexity, the evolution of feelings, and the constraints of daily life.

If we apply the same approach as for happiness, then love should not be defined as constant passionate intensity or perfect fusion, but rather as the absence of relational suffering. A realistic love would thus be a relationship free of destructive conflicts, betrayals, and major disillusionments. In other words, it is not so much the strength of emotion that guarantees the success of a relationship, but rather the absence of insurmountable tensions and unnecessary suffering.

A Pragmatic Ideal

Ultimately, happiness and love share an essential characteristic: they are more viable when defined by what they are not, rather than by what they should be. This perspective allows individuals to free themselves from the burden of illusions and unrealistic expectations, which paradoxically are often sources of frustration and unhappiness. Perhaps this is the key to a more serene life: not striving to reach an ideal state, but working to avoid unnecessary disappointments and pains.